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ludacrisnt:

my friend found out her boyfriend was cheating on her and so they went on a date today and she just stared into space for a few seconds and then said “i had a vision” and then paused and said “it was that we weren’t in a relationship anymore” and then just stood up and walked out.

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richwhitelesbian:

i told the cop to stuff it and he staggered backwards as if my words were arrows tipped with the finest steel in the land. Anyways, the ticket was $300

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